NEW POEM- All to forget

Hey there blogging world, poetry lovers, random individuals who find themselves on my page! I have a unique situation for you all. I have a poem that is incomplete- and it's going to stay that way. But I decided to share it with the internet world regardless. Here's a little background on all of this: So my dad has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, this was the case when I was in high school. Since then, the years have gone by and things have only gotten worse. I don't want to go in details because it's really all just sad but this poem reflects how all he wants in life is to remember, while me in my youth am trying all the wrong ways in life to forget situations. It's funny how simple things like your memory can be taken for granted.

every morning he wakes up and  looks around him,
hoping that his surroundings are familiar.
looks to his right, beside him is his wife- the one face he has yet to forget
full of regret he gets up, walks to the bathroom, looks in the mirror and peels off a sticky note.
"my name is Howard. It is august 31st, 2012. God is good."
he just wants to remember.

the other day i woke up confused by my surroundings
this definitely isn't my place.....
looked to my right and- who the fuck's face is this?!
shit.
get dressed quick.
last night we went out hoping to forget
holding heavy memories, saying we don't need em
bottles to my face saying "fuck the way i'm feeling"
broken hearted girls look at me and say "i feel ya"
so we dap our glasses taking shots of that tequila

lick the salt, taste the lime just to soften up the bite
i wish it was like this to soften up the sting of life
so instead we get dressed up, in the hopes we get messed up
in a night full of regrets
this is how we do it best
risk it all just to forget

I just want to forget.

he stands in his closet, confused on how to get dressed
takes a shirt but doesn't know where to put his arms or his neck
to his left, he spots a sticky note that has the instructions
written in her cursive, thank God he has a wife that still loves him

"my name is Howard. It is august 31st, 2012. God is good."
he just wants to remember.

i'm standing in this room, trying to find my clothes
but I can't find my socks, I guess I'll have to leave those
Lord knows I'm a mess, man this headache is killing me
i'm starting to regret all those girls that were feeling me
taking all those shots cause our lives were like similes
so we formed a sisterhood round a bottle of hennessy
saying "fuck all our enemies" man they know but still fuck em
so we go out each night to let them know we don't love em.
a couple nights full of regrets
this is how we do it best
found my purse, put on my dress
risk it all just to forget.

i just want to forget.

he writes down every single thought, refusing to lose a single one
yesterday he cried knowing the worst was still to come
starring at photo albums trying to remember
clenching to his hope that by God's grace one day he'll get better
brain synapses dismember
man, he just wants to remember.

the devil's been pissing me off
and i feel like God hasn't done much either
see it's hard when it's dark to say that i'm a believer
watched friends roll up reefer, said my thoughts would get deeper
so they passed it my say and said this stuff was the realest
i said "nah man just keep  it."
yeah i want to forget, ain't no thought that i'll miss
but i can't do it like this.

"Touchscreen" Marshall Soulful Jones

Can't Get Enough of You

When I look into your eyes I kind of hesitate

Who knew that I could feel this way?

Cause darling you bring out sides of me that, I didn't know I had.

And every time you come around I gravitate to you

There's just something bout the things you do

That keeps me head over heels and, you're so appealing.

I can't get enough of you.

I've felt the sun for the first time

I've danced in the rain

I've experienced loved in my life time

And you're the one to blame.

And when each day ends, I pray for the next to begin

Because every moment spent with you

Is something so incredible

And only fools fall in love

Foolish me, you're all I think of.

When you hold me in your arms I know that this is it

Moments like this I won't forget

Cause darling you're what I've been waiting for, and I won't let go

And every time you say my name, it sounds like a song

My heart is where you belong

And though things aren't perfect, let's make it worth it

I just can't get enough of you.

I NEED AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR AND SOMEONE WHO CAN SING TO RECORD THIS SONG I JUST WROTE. lmao. So I randomly made a song. and I PROMISE it is the cutest thing- but not when I sing it..... I need a vocalist and someone who can play the guitar to make my vision come to life lol. And if per happens chance, this actually comes to pass, I will post it here. 

OH, and apologies for not posting much. Now that I'm done summer school, I've been trying to live as crazy and fulfilling as possible until school starts back, so my hands have been tied with outrageous activities.

stay bless yall, live lyrical <3 

NEW POEM - Go ye therefore

God told his people to stand up
but we are too comfortable sitting down
like we were made in a way with our butts stuck to the ground
thinking our job's done when its Jesus we've found
but we drown forgetting God's work is more deep and profound

there's enough lost souls that be up in the church
and even more lost souls that are roaming the earth
Jesus said spread my word before theyre buried in dirt
so its time i write these lines and make sure everyone's heard
but it dont negate the fact that im a little bit scared
God you sure, im supposed to be the one spreading the word?

cause it don't fit my routine so I rather not get between
Lord i rather lean to the left and let someone else intervene
so I question if I'm predestined, Lord I'm just an adolescent
all my experiences are mistakes
I'm not ready to start this race
but God said "go ye therefore cause I need you to take my place"
you were made in my image so we have the same face
even a sinner like you can be used by God's grace

see Jesus isn't this personal secret, meant for us to keep it
God's a declaration meant to be heard by every nation
so go ye therefore and teach em
let them know he can reach them
God said we can pluck out and plant in- all within good reason
and hey, it's rainy season so let God's blood water us like plants
created with a new heart,
cause God gave me a transplant
equipped to serve his purpose
cause I know that it's all worth it

so a sinner like me? God you rather use a sinner like me?
cause my story of redemption cause get a lost soul on their knees
my flaws against your laws can help the average man see
that you still see something perfect
in a soul that might seem worthless
but there's hope in Jesus Christ
if you simply believe.

I'm Sorry

Hello blogging world, poetry lovers, folk who randomly found themselves on my page...
I just want to apologize for not posting and sharing new stuff. To be honest, I haven't been writing lately. I've had a lot of things going on in my life that have been messing with my creative mental space. I'm hoping that soon, when things get better, i'll be back to writing.

Steph.J-The Motto Freestyle Feat. Jimmy B & Keysha Fresh (HD) <--- Check out my girl Keysha. This is swag.

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The Mix TO still updates during the summer! check out all the cool things we have going on and the links that we share! Look for us this coming school year on your internet 'air waves' playing the hits that ACTUALLY matter !

https://www.facebook.com/TheMixTO

Forgive me first love, but I'm tired.

So I realized that not everything needs to be written in a stanza, or rhyming scheme, etc. Sometimes, just your thoughts alone, are poetry in themselves. 


This morning I felt a feeling that I haven’t felt in so long. My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. And I felt every second of the fall. Words built up, but got stuck in my throat and my eyes started watering uncontrollably. I was hurt. I haven’t been hurt in so long. And it is the shittiest feeling in the entire world. Last year I went through 8 months misery. And I promised myself that I would never let anyone ever take my joy away from me like that. I managed to pick up all my broken pieces and put them together. It took what seemed like forever but when you honestly have no other option than to move on and find your inner strength, you do what needs to be done. And for once, life was going right. Now, 5 months later. 5 months of me working on me. I let some one take my joy. And God, I hate it. I finally got my heart beating again, and now it’s turning back into a stone. And trust me, a heavy heart is one hell of a bitch to carry around. Every time you put your hand on your chest and you don’t feel that heart beat, it’s a constant reminder of your heart break. Once you’re broken, picking the pieces up is the hardest thing ever. But the feeling you get when you actually do, is the greatest accomplishment. However, once you’ve been broken, you’re not as strong as you used to be. You can’t take the same kind of pain as last time because you are fragile. Whole, but fragile. And maybe missing some pieces because you couldn’t find them all to put back. Now I don’t want to say I’m back to square one picking shit up. I’ll say that I’m at around square 15. But trust me, it all hurts just the same. 

Understanding

So I was asked to write something quick for last Sabbath's AY program at Kendalwood SDA. WHICH BTW was pretty rocking AWESOME. So shout out to Agape Temple for putting on a good AY program and showing folk how we get things done! So this poem I wrote basically speaks for itself. To be honest, Im not too sure how I feel about it just yet, I wrote it in literally 20 minutes because my horrible habits of procrastination (it will be the death of me). But regardless, Im sharing it because the message is real.

SPOKE N HEARD

A new event is happening through Spoke n Heard this month on the 27th!

It is all about the Hip Hop History! As the 1 year celebration takes place at the Lambadina Lounge on Bloor Street in Toronto!

I am truly trying to make my schedule work out so that I can be able to attend. With it being the May 24 weekend it might be difficult but hopefully I can be a part of it! So pray that I can get there and sign up for the open mic in time! For more information, check out the FB page!

https://www.facebook.com/events/232950023473520/