Hey there blogging world, poetry lovers, random individuals who find themselves on my page! I have a unique situation for you all. I have a poem that is incomplete- and it's going to stay that way. But I decided to share it with the internet world regardless. Here's a little background on all of this: So my dad has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, this was the case when I was in high school. Since then, the years have gone by and things have only gotten worse. I don't want to go in details because it's really all just sad but this poem reflects how all he wants in life is to remember, while me in my youth am trying all the wrong ways in life to forget situations. It's funny how simple things like your memory can be taken for granted.
every morning he wakes up and looks around him,
hoping that his surroundings are familiar.
looks to his right, beside him is his wife- the one face he has yet to forget
full of regret he gets up, walks to the bathroom, looks in the mirror and peels off a sticky note.
"my name is Howard. It is august 31st, 2012. God is good."
he just wants to remember.
the other day i woke up confused by my surroundings
this definitely isn't my place.....
looked to my right and- who the fuck's face is this?!
shit.
get dressed quick.
last night we went out hoping to forget
holding heavy memories, saying we don't need em
bottles to my face saying "fuck the way i'm feeling"
broken hearted girls look at me and say "i feel ya"
so we dap our glasses taking shots of that tequila
lick the salt, taste the lime just to soften up the bite
i wish it was like this to soften up the sting of life
so instead we get dressed up, in the hopes we get messed up
in a night full of regrets
this is how we do it best
risk it all just to forget
I just want to forget.
he stands in his closet, confused on how to get dressed
takes a shirt but doesn't know where to put his arms or his neck
to his left, he spots a sticky note that has the instructions
written in her cursive, thank God he has a wife that still loves him
"my name is Howard. It is august 31st, 2012. God is good."
he just wants to remember.
i'm standing in this room, trying to find my clothes
but I can't find my socks, I guess I'll have to leave those
Lord knows I'm a mess, man this headache is killing me
i'm starting to regret all those girls that were feeling me
taking all those shots cause our lives were like similes
so we formed a sisterhood round a bottle of hennessy
saying "fuck all our enemies" man they know but still fuck em
so we go out each night to let them know we don't love em.
a couple nights full of regrets
this is how we do it best
found my purse, put on my dress
risk it all just to forget.
i just want to forget.
he writes down every single thought, refusing to lose a single one
yesterday he cried knowing the worst was still to come
starring at photo albums trying to remember
clenching to his hope that by God's grace one day he'll get better
brain synapses dismember
man, he just wants to remember.
the devil's been pissing me off
and i feel like God hasn't done much either
see it's hard when it's dark to say that i'm a believer
watched friends roll up reefer, said my thoughts would get deeper
so they passed it my say and said this stuff was the realest
i said "nah man just keep it."
yeah i want to forget, ain't no thought that i'll miss
but i can't do it like this.
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